I'm all for saving money and making your own homemade stuff whenever possible, but somethings are really not worth the effort it takes.
Example number one: Maple Syrup
While I was living in Vermont my roommates excitedly exclaimed at breakfast "Hey let's make our own maple syrup!" They looked at me expecting me to share in their excitement, but were met only with a blank stare on my face. "It will be fun!" my inner-city Chicago roommate exclaimed. Now I had made maple syrup at a number of different jobs, so I knew how much work was going to be involved. After much begging they wore me down and convinced me to help. The first weekend went simply enough a friend loaned us all the supplies we would need; sap buckets, taps, to unused large plastic garbage cans to store our sap in, a 50 gallon oil drum set up which we could use to build a fire in and put our evaporating pan on top. He was even nice enough to help us tap the trees. After a few weeks passed we had enough sap to start the boiling process. As the sap boiled down we added more sap to the pan and at the end of day one of boiling we had made about 1/4 cup of syrup. 24 hours of boiling to make a measly 1/4 cup of syrup. This went on for weeks; collecting sap, boiling sap, splitting wood for the fire barrel. After about two months of doing this every weekend we had managed to produce 6 pints of smokey tasting backyard maple syrup. 192 hours of work to create 12 cups of maple syrup that is $160.00 a cup. On average it takes 25 gallons of sap to make one gallon of maple syrup and unless you have a large and preferably shallow pan to boil it in the whole process will take a very long time.
Example number two: Candle making
While I was working on one of the Boston Harbor Islands I realized there were tons of bayberry bushes all over the island.
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| Northern Bayberry Shrub |
After making sure it was ok with my bosses, that I harvest some of the berries, I grabbed a bunch of shopping bags and started to collect them. Two large bags of berries later I thought I had enough to make some candles. Now the main reason I was doing this is because in my family it has always been a tradition to burn a bayberry candle all the way down to the bottom on New Year's Eve. The legend goes that if you burn a bayberry candle all the way to the stump it will bring you good luck and prosperity in the new year. Bayberry candles can be hard to find and when you do 100% bayberry candles can be rather expensive. Few hours of simmering the berries I had a nice little waxy skim on the top of my water. Grabbed two more bags of berries and repeated the process making maybe 1/8 of an inch of wax. Now with the invention of the internet the great Google will tell you that you need anywhere from 1-15 pounds of berries to make enough wax for a votive candle or possibly a 3 inch pillar candle! However, preinternet the reference books I was reading were not very helpful telling me only that wax content varies based on the health of the plant. After simmering about 10 shopping bags full of berries I finally admitted defeat and had created maybe a birthday candle sized amount of wax.
About 12 years later I created another type of candles which worked much better and was way easier! Tallow candles. I was working at Lewis and Clark National Historical Park where I got to dress up in costume and teach people about what life was like for the Lewis and Clark Expedition.
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| Me Tending the tallow in buckskin clothing. |
One of the school programs we have at the park the students learn quill pen writing, flint and steel fire starting, and tallow candle making. Obviously it is too dangerous to have fourth-graders boiling hot flammable fat so that job fell to me and the kids would wick up the candle molds that I would be filling with tallow. At the end of the day they each went home with a candle.
What you will need:
50 pound of kidney beef fat- this you can get by calling your local grocery store or butcher shop and ordering it. You do need to specify kidney fat or you may end up with fat better used for sausage or suet feeder making. You will also need a large pot and an open fire. Bring the fat to a rolling boil and boil and boil until you have something which looks like a clear amber liquid. When it cools it will turn a nice off white in color.
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| 50 pounds of boiling beef fat. |
Now if you manage to get your fire to the point where you can maintain a nice rolling boil you can render down 50 pounds of beef fat in about 8 hours. Watch the level of your fire or the beef fat will go up like a roman candle if the flames get too tall. Sounds simple your thinking what could possible be the drawback? Well there are a few. If you happen to own a dog the minute you bring the tallow candle into the house the dog will try and try and try to eat the thing. After all to a dog it SMELLS SO YUMMY! Second draw back is the smell when you burn it, think smokey hamburger, not exactly the mood you were hoping for around the Thanksgiving table. Oh, the biggest draw back will be how you smell after sitting around a fire pit boiling down 50 pounds of beef fat. It is a smell that will stick with you for weeks and nothing you do will make you smell any better. I'm sure the strange smell in my old car was lingering tallow stink.
Let this stand a cautionary tale that not all good ideas are really worth the effort.
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